Here is a step-by-step guide to help you navigate your journey with intention and care. 

Step 1: Pause and Gather Your Thoughts 

• Sit with your emotions. You may feel confusion, fear, relief, sadness, hope. All of this is valid. 

• Start a journal or talk with someone you trust about: What do I want for my child’s future? How involved do I want to be in selecting adoptive parents? What kind of contact do I want (if any) after placement? 

• Review the brochure from Ava Health: “Your Options: Adoption.” It outlines what adoption means, what you have control over, and reassures you there is time and space to choose.

Step 2: Seek an Adoption Agency or Counselor You Trust 

• Look for a licensed, reputable adoption agency in your state. Ask: What is their philosophy? How do they support birth moms? How do they screen adoptive families? 

• Ask for clear information about what services they provide you: pre-placement counseling, expense assistance, post-placement support. 

• Some helpful questions: 

• • “How many adoptive-parent profiles can I review?” 

• • “What support is available for my emotional health during and after placement?” 

• • “How flexible is the level of openness/contact with the adoptive family?” 

• • “What happens if I change my mind, or want to adjust the plan later?” 

• Knowing your rights and options is empowering—an agency should walk you through them clearly and compassionately. 

Step 3: Exploring and Choosing Adoptive Parents 

• Many agencies provide a “family profile” or “waiting family booklet” with photos and letters from adoptive parents. You can see their values, their home, what they hope for in an adoptive child. 

• Think about what matters most to you: 

• • Do you want the adoptive parents to share your values (faith, culture, lifestyle)? 

• • Are you comfortable with their openness to future contact with you or your family? 

• • Do they have a support system, are they prepared for adoption emotionally and financially? 

• • Make a list of “must-haves” and “good-to-have” attributes in adoptive parents. (For example: a loving stable home; a family ready to answer questions about adoption; comfortable with open communication if you choose it.) 

• Remember: You are not choosing into oblivion. You are choosing someone who will honor your child’s story, value your decision, and support their future. 

Step 4: Decide on the Level of Openness & Make the Plan 

• Decide how you want your child’s story to be shaped: Will you choose an open adoption (you meet, share photos/updates, maybe visits)? A semi-open (letters or photos via agency, maybe occasional visits)? Or a closed adoption (no identifying contact or minimal updates)? 

• Discuss with your counselor/agency: 

• • How will the contact be managed? Will there be written agreement? 

• • Who will initiate communication? How often? What kind of updates? 

• • What happens if something changes (you or the adoptive family want to change the arrangement)? 

• • How will your child’s identity and heritage be respected and preserved? 

• • Create a written adoption plan (often the agency will help). Include your preferences, boundaries, hopes for your child’s future, and what kind of relationship you might desire or decline. Having this in writing gives you clarity and peace of mind. 

Step 5: Pregnancy and Placement Support 

• As you go through your pregnancy, make sure you’re getting proper prenatal care and emotional support. Having a healthy pregnancy helps you and the child. 

• Talk with your agency about hospital/birth plan: Do you want the adoptive family present? Do you want photos taken? Do you want a certain amount of time to hold or meet the baby? 

• After birth and placement, it’s important you have counseling or peer-support to process your emotions—grief, relief, hope, adjustment. Several birth-parent-focused resources emphasize this. 

Step 6: Life After Placement & Ongoing Support 

• Making an adoption plan doesn’t mean the emotional journey ends. Your feelings, identity, and healing continue—and that’s okay. 

• Ask the agency what post-adoption services they provide: peer support groups for birth mothers, counseling, opportunities to connect with others.

• If you choose an open/semi-open plan, consider how updates will impact you emotionally. You may experience joy, but also longing or complicated feelings. Having a counselor or support group is important. 

• Stay aware of your own hopes and needs: Are you receiving the support you need? Are you healing at your pace? Are your boundaries respected? 

• Over time, revisiting your plan, talking with counselors, and staying connected to a community can help you feel grounded and valued in your journey.